supamuthafuckinvillain:

This makes me extremely content.

full-onrainstorm:

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

full-onrainstorm:

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

katara:

this is my favorite tweet of 2014

katara:

this is my favorite tweet of 2014

yayasmeen:

I think my selfie problem is getting out of hand..

contemplate-perspective:

shawnbradford:

thats a bag of chocolate milk

trying to convince myself this bag of chocolate wasn’t relevant and scrolled past it, only to think about it down the dash… what if I didn’t reblog this bag of chocolate milk and lost it forever, only to think about it at the most inopportune times and have no re-reference to re-experience the wonder, that is, bag of chocolate milk.

contemplate-perspective:

shawnbradford:

thats a bag of chocolate milk

trying to convince myself this bag of chocolate wasn’t relevant and scrolled past it, only to think about it down the dash… what if I didn’t reblog this bag of chocolate milk and lost it forever, only to think about it at the most inopportune times and have no re-reference to re-experience the wonder, that is, bag of chocolate milk.

nobodyknowsimlesbian:

inspirational

@

fav character: [kills someone]
me: aw

momazhari:

burn-down-the-world:

This was the single funniest thing I have ever seen a president do.

I’M STILL LAUGHING.

I will never not reblog this.

image

Let’s all take a moment to remember that Obama actually fucking did this omg